"Oopps, I did it again!" as in the Brittany Spears song.

Hello ma Peeps! What's shakin? Really not much here which is why I haven't posted for awhile. Danny and I just got home from a wonderful trip from Williamsburg Va and Washington DC. I think it was one of the nicest vacations I'd ever had in my life. You know, sometimes I know the answer to questions I really wasn't going to ask. The question was going to be, "why had I not heard from the sisters in over a year?", The sisters and I had made a feeble attempt to reconcile in form of Birthday and Holiday cards. It was a test. Not one I took willingly, but out of obligation to my parents. I felt my Dad would be really upset if I didn't try. We failed. I didn't try with a good heart because I knew emotionally I had given up years ago. Let's just say, my blunt blog words were read and not appreciated. I came back from vacation to a little letter telling me so. Oh well. Found it interesting they were looking for me. I was only being polite with the cards and I should have followed my heart and just do what it told me to do. Don't get involved.. Perhaps it would have been kinder not to send cards in case there was any emotion left on anyone's plate. I guess that was still the "pleaser" part of me that conformed. You know, there is a very fine line between love and hate and people often say hate is love gone bad. Sometimes we don't like people because they are too much like ourselves. I don't hate, I dislike. I am clear on the fact that I like and love me and that I do have peace. Yes, there is peace in forgiveness and I have that peace. I go to bed at night with a very clear consicience and wake up with one as well. There is nothing left for anyone one to forgive. It is what it is and sometimes it's gotta be that way. I am at peace and you should be as well just as I told you that day in Sams. I wish you both wonderful, long, love filled lives. As Mr. Spock would have said ladies.."live long and prosper". I mean it with all my heart. Anymore, I do a pretty good job of pissing people off with my words. It doesn't mean i'm mean or unhappy it just means I don't overthink everything I say, said or am going to say. You know what, for me that's ok. Pam

Another Saturday memory lane visit

Saturday's, especially rainy Saturday's bring back so many different memory's from growing up in the 60"s. First off Saturday meant chores. Nothing else got done until we completed our chore's. We all worked together and by 12 noon we were done. Then, it was fun time. If it was lousy weather and you weren't going out to play there was always music and TV. The Four Top's REACH OUT and Manfred Mann's DOO WA DIDDY (written by an unknown song writer by the name of Bruce Springsteen, wonder what happened to that guy?) reminds me of Saturdays as does BARE FOOTIN by James Brown. "I got ant's in my pant's and I gotta dance!" My favorite James Brown quote, yes, I have a favorite James Brown quote! Then there was......wait for it......BEACH BLANKET movies!!!! Lordy how I looked forward to Frannkie and Annette! Beach Blanket Bingo, How to Stuff a Wild Bikini and one of my all time favorites, Ghost in The Invisible Bikini! Simple, sweet, fun love story's. Boy meets girl. Boy pisses off girl. Girl makes boy jealous. Everyone sang and danced in the sand or sometimes the snow and boy and girl reunite! All done with Eric Von Zipper floating in and out. Any of you who were Beach movie fans will know who "The Zipper" was and what happened when he gave you THE FINGER, no, not that finger, the index finger! Frankie left Annette's Bikini and virtue in tack. There fight's were usually about Frankie looking at another girl, which was a TOTAL misunderstanding because Frankie was truly in love with Annette. Not only did we have Frankie and Annette, but we had Tommy Kirk and Deborah Walley. You were intoduced other older, famous movie stars like Boris Karloff, Robert Cummings, Buster Keaton and Patsy Kelley. I'm sure, some of those movie stars wished they never made those movies, but they made so many of us happy. Also, you had to have some adults somewhere so it might as well be Boris Karloff! Sometimes, if you were really lucky, at least in my book, you would get the British equivalent of these kinds of movies. Cliff Richards, now Sir Cliff Richards, in Summer Holiday. "we're all going on a summer holiday....". Ahhhh such wonderful times. So here I sit, Saturday. No Four Tops or James Brown. Watching Haunted History on TV and just praying for a Beach Blanket Movie. I think I need to go to the DVD store!!!! Have a wonderful Saturday all and if you are flipping a channel and find a Frankie and Annette movie....CALL ME!!! xoxox Pammy P.S. Eric Von Zipper....I love you! Photo via Who's Dating Who

Sublime Saturday

How sublime Saturday's were when we were young. The wonderful feeling when you woke up and knew you didn't have to go to school. They were filled with a few chores, cartoon's, dance lessons, and music. Yay, Pizza for lunch! We had Jackie Gleason and Carol Burnett to look forward to on Saturday night TV. If you were old AND lucky enough to stay up late in the Pittsburgh area there was Chiller Theater on at 11:30 with Chilly Billy Cardille! Sunday was a different feeling as you knew the weekend was coming to an end. We had church and family dinners. You always had Family Movie Album at 5:30. Bedtime was 7:30 but Ed Sullivan was on later in the evening. I used to turn my black and white TV in my room way down low to watch. I know my parents knew I was awake. What can I say, I grew up in a time when TV was king. As I yawned to fall asleep I knew free time was over and it was back to business, or in my case, school as usual. I often think I want a fairy door. It's one of the little doors you place in your woodwork and when you are FINALLY able to go through it you will be in a magical land. Sometimes I want to lay by the fairy door and close my eyes and concentrate very hard (squished my eyes tight closed right now!) to see if I can get there. Wouldn't it be wonderful to walk through that door and see where it takes you? I want to think that I'd go back to those sublime Saturdays.....keep dreaming. xoxoxo Pamturday

The Power

Hello my dear 6 1/2 followers. It used to bother me that only a few people followed my blog, but it doesn't any longer. I finally figured it out that I don't write this for anyone than me. If It happens to have someone read it and it hits a nerve, funny, sad or otherwise that's great. Usually I have a fun fact or something we can all learn about. Right now I haven't felt too much like looking for a fun fact. I just feel like sitting down and writing my feelings. Some people may feel it's B.O.R.I.N.G, but that as Bobby Brown would say is "MY PREROGATIVE"! As many of my dear followers and friends know I've have been fighting a debilitating depression along with anxiety and panic attacks for sometime now. In the past few months they have improved somewhat. I still have my morning and nights where I wake up and feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin and just want to sit and cry my eyes out. Some days, waking me up like this exhausts me before I even get out of bed. If one of my dog's startles me awake or if the phone rings to wake me up I actually shake. Daniel has an alarm that plays Emeinem's I'M NOT AFRAID. Well, I am, it scares the shit outa me every morning. I have my day's where I wake up and think, Oh Lord, do I have to face the day. I know I'm lucky as many people have to face this while still working and I did for many years. The fact is, I DO want to face the day. I want to get on with my life and live it to the best of my ability. Just like everyone in the world does I have my set backs and I have things that help set me back. I work very hard to not let this happen, but sometimes it's out of my control. The news can hurt me, peoples cruelty to one and other can hurt me. People who direct their anger at me can hurt me. I just keep telling myself, I DO not have to buy into it. Easier said than done. It always plays on my insecurities. Doesn't matter what anyone says, we all have them. I immediately turn into the 5 year old on the playground that no one will play with. I've had a little set back in the past week or so. I can always tell it's happening as I'm overly tired, emotional and bitchy. Ask Danny! It"s about me...me...me and all ME!! At this moment I've only been up since 7am and I'm already tired. I feel like I need to sit here and close my eyes. Perhaps today I will indulge myself and just snooze. I think that's the only thing I will be good for! I guess the moral of this little blog is to pay attention to the people in your life, they may not just be bitchy, but often is something we can control. I know it's time to stop writing as my eyes keep going closes. So, go out there, hug someone who's Bipolar or even just a bit off. I know I could use one today. Have a great day all, and tomorrow I will try to be back on my game and write something that will makes us all laugh! xoxox Pammy

Life

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."....Ferris Bueller. No truer words were ever spoken. This sentiment has come out in various forms through out the years. John Lennon stated "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans" . then there is the ever popular "stop and smell the roses". It is a cliche that is widely used to advise people to slow down and savor life. The origin of this quote is not exactly know, but believed to have started here in the United States. The common theme of these quotes is basically that we put blinders on when moving at such a quick pace and perhaps an amazing slice of life has floated by. I don't want to miss any part of this life. I want to present for all the happiness, the sadness, the pain and the anger. I never want to cheat myself by missing any part of the human condition.I will not accept "what ifs" in my life. I have the ultimate control over the direction I take. Sometimes it feels like my compass is broken, other times I know I am just not reading it correctly. My compass is fine, my perspective needs adjusted! I have been lucky through out the years to have many amazing people pass through. Some have stayed and others were just here for a short visit. It's not always the length of the visit that counts, but what you do with the time. I'd like to think that someday, someone may reflect upon me and say," I only knew her briefly, but the tattoo she left on my life was unique". Unique is the best I always hope for. I had the ultimate compliment paid to me in my late 20's by a young lady who was only in her late teens. We worked together in an extremely cut throat atmosphere where I refused to buckle down and conform. Needless to say this did not make my life easy. After one day that had gone very badly Tracey looked at me and said "you are the most unique person I have ever know". Now some people might have been offended by that. I was not. It made me happier than anything anyone had ever said to me. It had been a long day of fighting for what I thought was fair and right and felt fairly downtrodden. This buoyed my spirits and gave me the charge to go on and fight another day. All these years later I still hold onto that compliment. Why did it do that for me? Well, it told me that no one thought I was a lemming. I NEVER want to be the lemming that just follows the leader. The winds are moving my compass needle around. I maybe older but I still feel like I have a long journey ahead of me. I'm planning on enjoying every second of it. Right now, I need to go to my "garden" smell the roses. sit under a tree and help draw the tattoo that my life will be responsible for. I'm going to make sure it's an AMAZING tattoo. I wish you all peace. xoxoxo Pammy

Family

My Family. I have been given so many wonderful gifts in my life that most of them are too numerous to mention. I always tell people that my husband, Danny, is the best Christmas gift I ever got to keep. There was no wrapping necessary, just a kind, honest soul with beautiful eyes who looked at me with love. I consider him to not only my gift from God, but from his family who so generously share him with me. After my parents passed away and my sister's left my life I felt a bit lost. Of course, there was my rock, my Danny, standing next to me and often holding me up. I have to admit I was sad that there was no longer anyone I could look in the face and see myself and say, I share blood with that person. I was so wrong. My Father, Jim, has a younger sister Marybelle. Aunt Marybelle has bee married for over 60 years to my Uncle Sam, who is the most handsome man I've ever known! They are both in their 80's. When first Dad and then Mom died they made it very clear to me I was theirs. I always had been theirs, but now it was different. I am known as daughter 2 1/2! This always makes me giggle and I feel so proud that I am 2 1/2. Aunt Marybelle and Uncle Sam have three wonderful children, Rosemary, Debbie and Sam. Rosemary is just as sweet, gentle and beautiful as my Aunt Marybelle and always makes me feel loved. My cousin Debbie calls me "sis". I think Debbie might fight a physical fight for me if necessary. She would win! Then there is my cousin Sam. Sam is closest to my age. I am 5 months older than he his. I never felt older than Sam and he probably doesn't know it but I always looked up to him. Sam, like his father grew up to be a police officer. He also grew up to be a fine, upstanding man and I'm proud to call him my family. All of my cousins have had children and in Debbie's case grandchildren. Yesterday we all gathered together for my second cousin, Dylan's graduation party. He is the son of Stacy, who is Debbie's daughter. I can never think of Debbie as "grandma" as she is still one of the coolest, pretties ladies I have ever know. Grandma she is,and such a good one. It was a great party and I left with a warm cozy, safe feeling. Aunt Marybelle and Uncle Sam have raised some of the finest children and grandchildren and great grandchildren our world could have. My cousins have spouses and partners who are just as loving and amazing. Their children are just dears to me. The best part is, THEY LOVE ME! As for me, I ADORE THEM. I laugh with them, I cry with them and I thank God everyday I belong to them and they belong to me. How much luckier can one woman be. A loving husband and a family there by my side letting me know I will always be theirs. I wish I could tell you about each of my cousins individually, but we would be here all day. I will tell you there is Tommy and Emily, Stacy and Paul, Ian and Joanne. Bucky, Lisa and Darryl. Dylan, Bryan, Michael, Kyra, Nicole, Mia, Blake and Troy. I hope to the Lord I didn't forget to mention anyone. I wanted to put a name to all of them and tell all of you what an amazing family I have. All of my cousins love their children ferociously. I love them back the same way. In a few weeks we will all gather again to celebrate the marriage of Michael, Sam and Lisa's son to a beautiful and smart young lady named Kyra. I am honored to be there and be apart of this special occasion. So much to look forward to and I just smile thinking of it. A special note to my cousin Sammy, we still look alike no matter how old we get to be. That's great cause we are both so darn good looking! With much love and respect. Pammy.

Etan Patz

May 25th NATIONAL MISSING CHILDREN'S DAY On May 25th 1979 a beautiful 6 year old child by the name of Etan Patz went missing from his SoHo neighborhood in New York City. It was the first time ever his Mom let him walk the block to his school bus stop alone. Almost 34 years later there maybe a break in this case that is going to give his parents, Stan and Julie Patz some much needed closure. A clerk from a neighborhood convenience store admitted to luring the child into the store with soda pop and then took him to the basement and strangled him. He disposed of this baby's body by placing him in a cardboard box and left it in an alley for the Trash men to dispose of. HE LEFT THIS SWEET BABY OUT FOR TRASH! At least twice during this man's life he admitted to a clergy and a family member that he killed a child in New York City, but never gave details or a name. This event ushered in the era of never leaving your child unsupervised, and Etan became the first youngster ever to be depicted on a milk carton along with information about him. I'm sure Julie Patz could never envision what a difference this morning would bring to the world or to her life. The carton movement started in to bring attention to the plight of missing children. After all, what child doesn't eat cereal in the morning and their parents pour the milk from a carton. It was reaching a wide spectrum of people. As horrific an event this was, this movement has helped many parents locate their children. We must all admit that the milk carton effort is one of the very positive things to come from this sad, sad event. In all the horror of the events of that day there are many things that people tried to do to a negative into a positive. Foremost, Stan and Julie Patz. In all of these 34 years they have never moved from the apartment they lived in with Etan, nor did they change the phone number in hopes that Etan was still alive and might someday try to contact them. Mrs. Patz must live every single day of her life with a what if...? She can't change it and it must be a horrible burden to live with. She does know that she never turned the light out on her child. He was somewhere. He was loved. John Walsh is a force of nature. After his son, Adam was abducted and killed in 1981, John because the voice of every parent who has this happen AND for the true victims, the children. Along with his wife, Reve founded THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR MISSING AND EXPLOITED CHILDREN. He has brought many a criminal to justice. On 5/25/83 President Ronald Regan declared it NATIONAL MISSING CHILDREN DAY, then in 1984, Congress passed THE MISSING CHILDREN'S ASSISTANCE ACT.New York City District Attorney, Cy Vance reopened this investigation after some of the hundreds of tips that still came in yearly proved to be from credible sources. Collectively, all of these people exhibited the best of humanity at a time that the worst was taking hold. In 2001 The Patz family had Etan declared dead. Yes, Julie and Stan will have the closure of knowing what happened to their child but will never ever be able to put him physically to rest. I do wonder if that is enough comfort for them. So, today,on this NATIONAL MISSING CHILDREN'S DAY, hug your child, hold them close and thank God for their safety and the kindness of others that are helping to keep them safe. To quote Anne Frank" Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/anne_frank.html#Gphcpt07rt3h4FBB.99. In memory of Etan Patz and Adam Walsh Respectfully, Pam Beattie-Shore Souces include Brainy Quotes, People Finders and The Associated Press.

America's Oldest Teenager!

"A long long time ago
I can still remember hows
That music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance"
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.....Don McLean....American Pie



Hello my 6 1/2 followers. I haven't checked in for awhile, but I haven't found the right subject to talk about. I was going to write about the sinking of the Titanic, an event that had such a great impact on the world. Well, everyone was writing about Titanic and I didn't feel I had anything new to offer. Instead, this morning, I decided to write about someone and something that touches us all. Dick Clark and American Bandstand.



Pam, you might say as that is my name! Why are you writing about a person and American Icon that everyone will write about. Let me answer it this way. What is more personal that the music you listen to? Yes, someone else created it and it now touches you, Who doesn't have a "soundtrack" to their lives. Music and songs make us happy and sad, sometimes both at the same time. It's an amazing feeling. Think about how you feel when you hear a song that you haven't heard in ages. Something from you childhood perhaps. I don't care WHO you are, we all mentally, and sometimes verbally exclaim "that's my jam" and turn it up.



In 1956 Dick Clark helped us "pump up the jams" there is another part to that quote, but I kept it clean!!! It is said that Dick Clark legitimized Rock n Roll and helped make it acceptable to a whole new demographic, to the parents of the kids who bought the Rock n Roll records!. On more Saturday's than we can count, Dick Clark brought the music via Philadelphia way into our homes. Well, no only were the kids home dancing and watching it, but so were Mom and Dad. How could you not like that young, handsome, Dick Clark??? How many people learned to dance watching American Bandstand, well that and a bit of Soul Train thrown in there. We had our favorite people we liked to watch dance. The program showed us how we wanted to dress to be "hip". It gave us our first exposure to a word like "groovy". We learned all of this at the knee of Dick Clark. I always wanted to be on the segment that was "rate a record. I wanted to be the person to say,"it's got a great beat and you can dance to it".



An appearance on American Bandstand said to an artist and their audience they had "made it". Dick Clark was instrumental in the desegregation of Television. We saw Chubby Checker and Pat Boone on the same show.. The next program might be Smokey Robinson and The Miracles and Jay and The Americans. You just never new and wasn't that an amazing thing!! Music was music no matter what. It had no color, no rules. What a wonderful thing!

Dick Clark had just about every major musical act from 1956-1987. Think about all the people that passed Dick Clark's way. He brought Little Richard into our homes (bet that scared a few Grandma's). Years later he did the same thing with Kiss. I saw The Osmond Brothers for the first time on Bandstand and The Jackson Five. Dick Clark had John Travolta on when he was just a kid starting out on WELCOME BACK KOTTER when he gave pop music a shot and had a song that went to number one called LET HER IN. He asked John of all things, "was he a good dancer"! Well, John sure showed us after Dick asked the question! In 1984 he asked a very young Madonna what her dreams were and she answered in her modest style "to rule the world". I remember thinking what kind of answer was that to give Dick Clark....well, she sure came close to it! She ruled the music industry. Mr. Clark helped her put her intentions out there and he did it with grace. John Waters spoofed Dick Clark in a very funny and serious way in Corny Collins in Hairspray. I loved John Waters interpretation of the music industry and segregation. There was no doubt Corny Collins was based on Dick Clark!



There have only ever been three other hosts to American Bandstand before Dick Clark. Bob Horn, Lee Stewart and Tony Mammarella. They hosted from 1952-1956. They paved the way for Dick Clark and he created an empire. Not only was it a musical empire but one that encompassed a TV empire as well. Dick Clark Productions gave us ROCKIN NEWS EVE. THE 25,000 PYRAMID, TV'S BLOOPERS AND PRACTICAL JOKES. DICK CLARK'S PRODUCTION CO. produced THE DAYTIME EMMY'S. There are so many many more things he had his hands in that they are too numerous to mention. He was a restaurateur at one point. I think Dick Clark lived the American dream. He worked his way up from DJ in a small radio station to one of the most powerful men in the music industry.



When Guy Lomardo died my Dad said that they should just cancel New Years Eve because there was never going to be anything as great on that night as Guy Lombardo and The Royal Canadians. Dick Clark started ROCKIN NEW YEARS EVE in 1972 and gave us a whole different perspective. Different, but just as good. He hosted yearly from 1972 .He only missed hosting two shows due to the stroke he suffered, but he still showed up in a special appearance.. I hope Ryan Seacrest appreciates what Mr. Clark did.



I speak as if I knew Mr. Clark personally, but of course I didn't. I just felt like most of America felt. We knew him from him coming into our homes weekly. As my friend Nancy Ball commented on my profiled picture featuring Dick Clark "what a gentle man". I think he was in every sense of the word.



There is not much else I can say except to quote the lyrics written by Barry Manilow to BANDSTAND BOOGIE.



Songwriters: Manilow, Barry; Sussman, Bruce; Albertine, Charles;

"We're goin' hoppin', we're goin' hoppin' today
Where things are poppin' the Philadelphia way
We're gonna drop in on all the music they play
On the bandstand

We're goin' swingin', we're gonna swing in the crowd
And we'll be clingin' and floatin' high as a cloud
The phones are ringin', my mom and dad are so proud
I'm on Bandstand

And I'll jump and hey, I may even show 'em my handstand
Because I'm on, because I'm on the American Bandstand
When we dance real slow I'll show all the guys in the grandstand
What a swinger I am, I am on American Bandstand

We're goin' hoppin', we're goin' hoppin' today
Where things are poppin' the Philadelphia way
We're gonna drop in on all the music they play
On the Bandstand

Bandstand, Bandstand, Bandstand
Bandstand, Bandstand, Bandstand

Hey I'm makin' my mark, gee, this joint is jumpin'
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/barry-manilow-lyrics/bandstand-boogie-lyrics.html)
They made such a fuss just to see us arrive
Hey it's Mr.Dick Clark, what a place you've got here
Swell spot, the music's hot here, best in the east
Give it at least a seventy five

Now for all you Joe's, here goes my American handstand
Because I'm on, because I'm on the American Bandstand
As we dance real slow, I'm showin' the guys on the grandstand
That I like my girl but I love American Bandstand

The singers' croonin', he ain't the greatest but gee
My baby's swoonin' in front of all of TV
So if you tune in, you'll see my baby and me
On the Bandstand

And now we're hoppin' and we'll be hoppin' all day
Where things are poppin' the Philadelphia way
And you can drop in on all the music they play
On the Bandstand

And we'll rock and roll and stroll on American
Lindy hop and slop, it's American
Tune in, I'm on, turn on, I'm in, I'm on
Today, Bandstand"



Rest in peace Mr. Clark and give Elvis and Jim Morrison a hug, I'm sure they will be happy to see your familiar face.



With much respect





Pam Beattie-Shore

The Lorax went hopping. For the despicable people who stole the statue!

The Lorax went hopping.

One dark dark night The Lorax did stray, not by himself but was spirited away.

He went not alone but with the 'help' of some scoundrels.

They did it for gain and personal profit. No matter how you see it it's not a class act.

So sad is the woman who lives in the house, he guarded her garden and kept safe the house while doing it all as quiet as a mouse.

The birds are still playing and the ocean does wave but not with The Lorax gazing away.

Bring back the Lorax to his perch in the garden. Your soul will be saved not given away. Please bring back The Lorax from far far away.....Pamela Beattie-Shore

LOVE NEVER MEANS HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY (Choke!) From LOVE STORY by Erich Segal, spoken by Ali McGraw in movie of the same name in 1970

Love means never having to say your sorry. Well, that's a load of shit. Love mean saying your sorry, often when you are not, when you are right and when you are still angry! I had to get that out even before I said hello to all of you and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Now dear friends you know I'm not usually cynical and I'm not trying to be it's just i've learned a few things in my life! When Ali McGraw said these words to Ryan O'Neal in Love Story I was all of 11 years old and I remember thinking that is total crap. Even at that age I knew that love was far more complicated than that.

I think at allot of our weddings we all had the scripture read from Corinthians 13: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." Love is all of those things and so much more. This applies to the love you have for your spouse or partner, your sisters and brothers. To anyone you love. Mostly, I think love is one of the most amazing, complicated and rewarding things you will ever experience. Love to me is a gift that God allows you to give to yourself and others. It's also true you cannot love anyone else until you love yourself.

My life has been made complete and better by the people I love and who have loved me back. What would life be without the love of my sainted Danny. The complicated love I have often have with family members taught me many important lessons. I've learned so much about myself through love. I've learned I'm not perfect. I'm not always nice and I often can be horribly selfish. I've also learned that when I love someone I love with my heart and soul. It has taught me that I will go to deep lenghts to make someone I love happy. I have also learned bitter lessons about myself and been disappointed in myself with how I've handled different situations in regards to love. I still regret that I wasn't able to love my sisters enough to forgive. I wish I had told my parents more often I loved them. I have friends I wish I had never given my love and trust to. I have to say through all these things, good and bad I would not trade those experiences. Good and Bad they are what makes me me. I am imperfect, kind, selfish, caring and so many other things. It's complicated.

If I have one message in this little Valentines Day missive it is to not be afraid to love and loved back. The joys far out weigh the perils. Let me leave you with a small task for the day. Just say I love you to one person. Mean it. You may have just made the day of someone who really needs to hear it at that moment.

So my dear friends, family and anyone else who is reading this. I love you!

Have a WONDERFUL day, not just on Valentines Day, but every day.


xoxoxo

Pammy

"Santa Baby...."

Dear Santa,

Que pasa??? Just checking how you are doing cause I don't think that people often ask you how your are. What do you want for Christmas Santa? We all know your plans for Christmas Eve so I imagine you snooze all Christmas day sitting by the fire with your pipe and Mrs. Claus, God bless her. She must be the most understanding wife in the entire world cause she doesn't get to spend Christmas Eve with her husband.

I of course, I have a few things that I would like Santa and I understand I can't have them all but I'd just like to discuss a few of them with you.

1. Health, not only for me but for all the people I know and love and for everyone in the world. Like they say, if you don't have your health you have nothing. This is true, just watch the news and seeing people without clean water, healthy food and general health care is an eye opener and makes you thankful for what you have.

2. Peace. I wish peace to everyone. There is not much else to be said about that. Peace of mind, peace on earth. I think one goes hand in hand with the other.

3. Love. I hope and pray that everyone finds their peg. Sometimes it takes along time to find that peg but when you do it's so worth it. I always tell my friends, family and my Sainted Danny that he is the best Christmas gift I ever got to keep. I know I will never know the love of having my own child, but I am so thankful that I have my two "girls" Gracie and Lacy to love and who DO love me back. I am lucky enough to know the love of a child even though she's not my own. Emalee, thank you for all the love you show me. There is nothing better than when you give me a hug me, make me laugh or hear your laugh. You enrich my life.

4. HOPE. I want to always have hope for our future. Hope for the hopeless and hope that I am doing the best in this life that I can. I always want to hope that there is magic in this world and Santa, I think you help us keep hope alive. I do believe you come and see us all on Christmas Eve. We may not know you were there, but sometimes there are small little miracles that prove you were.

5. Faith. I work everyday at maintaining my faith in mankind, in God and in myself. My faith has often been shaken lately, but then, who's faith has not been tested during these difficult times. Santa, I have faith in you and plan to maintain that faith for all my life and to spread some of the joy that you spread. God, I don't always understand your plan for me, but I will always have faith that you are working in all of our best interested. Perhaps we are not supposed to understand the plan, but when we go to heaven all is clear. I have faith (and a lot of hope) that I will be joining the people I love in heaven someday. Oh and Santa and God, when I go could you please make sure I get a chance to talk to John Lennon and John Kennedy as I do have some questions. I won't take up much of their time, I promise!

6. Last, but not least I want another life sized stuffed Jolly Green Giant doll. It was one of the best Christmas gifts I ever got (next to Danny). You would slip a strap from his feet to yours and you could dance with him! I had him for a very long time and I think I danced so much with him he fell apart! I also wouldn't mind my mechanical dog, Gaylord, that I got for my 6th Christmas. He used to pick up his bone. I loved Gaylord. I think he went to "mechanical" dog heaven!

So in conclusion Santa I know there are things on my list I have, some I want and some I wish for other people. Santa, I will always do my best to keep the magic alive. The magic in this life makes it all worth living. I hope you enjoy your gift from Mrs. Claus as I'm sure she's worked hard on finding the right thing for you. Get your rest and we will talk again next year!

xoxxoxxo

Pammy Beattie-Shore

P.S. I understand if you can't locate Gaylord. Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!

Oh...and I didn't bake much this year, but there is chocolate covered mint oreo's, homemade fudge and homemade cashew caramel in the fridge...enjoy!

"We gather together to aks the Lord's blessing....."

Gobble Gobble my dear friends and family. Not only do I speak English but I'm semi-fluent in Turkey, not to be confused with Turkish! I only can gobble which I assume in Turkey language either means hello or get the hell away from me! So, here we are celebrating yet another Thanksgiving. Don't you wonder where all the time has gone this year? I sure do. We have all had our ups and downs through out the year, but tomorrow is the day we sit with our family and friends and thank God for all our blessings small and large. It's amazing how the meaning and what we are thankful for changes through the years. As a child it all starts at school where you make a Turkey from tracing you hand on brown paper and decorating it. In my day, we also made Indian Headresses, but I bet they don't do that any longer (I doubt it's considered PC). Children are excited to have that wonderful long weekend. There are the parades to look forward to, the football games and of course all the Turkey, Pumpkin pie and whippped cream you can eat. I, of course of know of several people, child and adult who have been known to sit with just a bowl of whipped cream! As a child we thank God for Mum and Dad. We know it's the start of the holiday season and we are so thankful that all the fun is now going to start. Ah, sometimes to be that child again with such basic, but exciting things to be thankful for and look forward too. As we become adults it changes so much. We are aware of the work that will go into making it a wonderful turkey day for all the adults and children who will be in our homes. Sometimes the work for the adult on a day like this seems never ending! Yes, the parades are still there as are the football games and of course the whipped cream! It's just you are the one now making the whipped cream instead of just eating it. You also have the supreme pleasure of washing all the dishes that went into making it! As I am doing all this I often reflect on past Thanksgivings and all the work I watched my parents put into it for me to enjoy the day.I am thankful for the tradditons they instilled into me. The meaning, at least for me has changed so much. I now find myself thanking God for another year that we can all be together. I acknowledge and am thankful for all the people present and in my heart that are part of my life. I pray for another year of happiness for my friends and family and more than ever wish I could make a global difference that will allow other people to have some of the comforts I have. I also wonder about the first Thanksgiving. I think about how hard it must have been for the Pilgrim's that first year after they left England to persue their right to worship as they wanted to. How lucky they were to have the Native Indian's share their knowledge of hunting, fishing and living in such hard terrain that it allowed them to survive. I could now go off on a tangent about the plight of the American Indian, but I shall save that for another blog and for right now thank them for all they did for us! I think about how different their feast must have been compared to the modern Thanksgiving meal. Their feast lasted three days and they had to feed everyone breakfast, lunch and dinner for those three days. Just think of the washing up!!! The Pilgrim"s would not have had Turkey at this time. There would have been an abundance of seafood, cabbage, onions and of course corn that The Wampanoag Indians would have shown them how to grow. The Indians would have brought deer and venison. There would have been Pumpkin and Squash as they were available, but it would not have been baked into pie's at this time as they didn't have oven's yet. No mashed potato's for this party as the Pilgrim's and the Indian's regarded potato's as poison....Hello Jenny Craig! So, think of it, there has always been so much put into this feast day. No, they didn't have football, Snoopy ballon's or floats but they had another year of life to live. For me, that is what I am mostly thankful for. As I'm writing this I keep feeling that my words are a little flat, a little off. Dan and I recently had a bit of a trama with Dan having an argument with the Lawnmower, it won..but, it could have been so much worse. The accident seems to be coloring what I am writing and how i'm writing it. I am thankful for so much that my words feel trite and as I said, a bit flat. I wanted to do this essay justice as a friend of mine, Josh Stewart gave me the wonderful subject matter. I hope I've done him proud. So tomorrow when you say your thanks, remember the child in you, the adult you've become and what all our forefathers did for us to make this day possible. It's worth all the work we put into it to watch the happiness on everyone's face. As I was writing this I kept having a song pop into my head. It's not orginally a "song" but was from The Gospel according to Saint Matthew. John Michael Tebelak and Stephen Schwartz while at Carnegie Mellon University in the 1970's wrote a "little" musical called Godspell based upon the Gospel according to St. Michael. I keep singing "all good gifts around us are sent from heaven above, so thank the Lord, O thank the Lord for all his love...." That will be one of the biggies on my list tomorrow. So I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving full of love, friendship, whipped cream and the knowledge that life is good!!! Have a wonderful day...Oh and say a thanks to the Tom T. Turkey who is your guest of honor!

"I vant to suck your blood...."

“Listen to them, the children of the night. What sweet music they make.”
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) (Dracula).....Velcome to my humble Halloween blog....bahhhaaaaa!!!!!! Ok...enough cheesy Vampire humor for right this moment, but I'm not promising that there won't be more!!! So when you least expect it....EXPECT IT!!! Scared yet...nah, me neither. Let me first acknowledge the person whoes subject suggestion for this little trip into the Twilight Zone that is my mind was picked as part of a raffle I was having for my Tastefully Simple endeavor . That person is .....drum rolll......Denise Csokuly. I know Denise from one of the scariest places in the ENTIRE WORLD...COPERATE AMERICA, bahhhhaaa! Ok, i'm over using the bahhhaaa. So, as Rod Sterling would say "You are traveling through another dimension, a demension of not only sight and sound,but of mind. Journey through a wondrous land of imagination....next stop....THE TWILIGHT ZONE!!!". So, children of the night, we are going to visit with some of Pammy's favorite people (?) in the whold world. The Vampire. Next to a good visit to a cemetary I love to spend me some time with me homies, the Vamps! So many to chose from, where do I begin (wait, that's the start to a song that is totally unrelated and way too sunny for this subject!) I will start with the what a Vampire is "supposed to be". Vampire is a corspe supposed to leave it's grave at night and drink the blood of the living. They prey ruthlessly on others (ruthless...did someone call my younger sister???.) Haha...ok, i'm the only one who laughed. Let's start with my FAVORITE of all times Vampire....Come on down BARNABAS COLLINS!!!! Barnabas, aka Canadian actor Johnathan Frid is 200 year old vampire from my favorite soap opera of all times, Dark Shadows. Dark Shadows ran from 1966-1971. Barnabas was 200 years old 30 years ago, so time to update his resume. His turn on's are stalking pretty young girls, drinking blood and an occasional game of billiards. He is a gentlement after all! Turn off's....stakes and sunlight. He was my first vampire love at the age of 10. He had a bad Julius Ceasar hair cut and was oft featured in my favorite magazine, 16. He was romantic and tortured and yes, heroic and every time he bit one of his lovelies you cheered as Barnabas would live to see another sunset....sighhh! I understand Johnny Depp is going to bring my beloved Barnabas back to life on the big screen. Let's hope Johnny can keep his fangs in his mouth better than Johnathan Frid did (lord that sounded dirty, it's just sometimes in the 60's special effects were not that good and Barnabas's fangs would slip). Here's to hoping Mr. Depp does my Barnabas proud. Fun fact....Freud even wrote articles of the subject of Dracula and believe it or not he decided there were sexual connontations of it. Well durrr Dr. Freud!

Our next Vamp to visit would be that rascal Vlad III Prince of Wallochia 1431-
1476. Vlad's love name was Vlad the Impailer due to the fact that his idea of a good time was to impale his victims on a stake and leave them out for all to see. I imagine it cut down on bothersome calls from door to door sales people. His victims were estimated in the 10's of thousands. He was the inspiration for the modern day Dracula and he was not at all warm and fuzzy like I like my Vamps.

Enter the ever popular Count Dracula who was portrayed on Broadway and the silver screen by the late great Bela Lugosi. He was a Hungarian born actor and was enterally type cast as ole Drac. Poor Bela was even buried in his Dracula costume. The word Dracula actually mean's Son of the Dragon. I would be remiss in not mentioning Nosferatu who was the "star" of of a 1921 German Expressionist film. He had long pointy fingers, bad teeth and a bald head, not my idea of the Vamp of my dreams, but he was a key to get to where we are today with Vampires, so deserves a "participation" trophy.

In the 60's we had a diverse Vampire community. Not only did we have Barnabas Collins batting around. We had Count Chocula and Count Count. Count Chocula hit hard times as had to resort to selling breakfast cereal to pesky human children during Saturday morning cartoons. Count Count on the other hand hit the big time with a little show we like to call Sesame Street. His job was to teach the youngsters to count. Someone asked Count Count in an interview how old he was and he replied that he was 1,832,652 years old. Now that would make him predate man, so we actually think The Count started counting years and forgot to stop! Even the kiddies have their own Vampire hero's. Now I do us the word hero, because that is often how the modern day Vampire is portrayed.

This leads us to a few more contemporary Vampires. First off there is Spike. Spike was created from the strange little mind of Joss Wheadon for the program Buffy the Vampire Slayer (she best leave my Barnabas alone!) Spike was a Billy Idol wanna be who rocked white blonde spikey hair and a long black leather coat (rock the cradle of love, rock the cradle of love) oh wait, Billy Idol, that's another blog. He had a lovely English accent and I would have given him my neck anytime!!! His Vampire name was William the Bloody and aquired the name Spike for his method of killing slayers. Ultimately he fell in love with the Slayer, Buffy, talk about a mixed marriage. Then Spike in the most noble of jestures gave his life to save the world and his beloved Buffy,who was a step up from the crazy as bat shit (haha, get it?? bat shit, Oh well I liked it!) Drucilla he had been hanging out with! So romantic and it only took an occasional offering of blood.

Jumping now to more modern Vampires we have Bill from True Blood who spends most of his time buck neked and saving poor Sookie Stackhouse from other evil no good nicks. Sometimes he's naked for that activity or other times he does have some very nice clothes, but they really are optional in Bill the Vampire's world. Either way he could fang me anytime. Whoops, I think that was dirty, oh well...it's the truth!. Bill leads us into our last stop in Vampire land and that would to be visit Edward Cullen. Beautiful, tortured (are we seeing a pattern here yet children of the night?) Edward. He can go out in daylight and all he does is SPARKLE! Sparkle...WTF. I like my Vampires to burn in the sun like all good vampires should. I don't want them to look like they just visited Liberace's make up man. Edward is in love with poor lost, no one understands me, Bella. I think she's a pain in the ass personally. For the first time in my vampire history my heart is screaming "pick the werewolf"! Don't get me wrong, I am a major Twihard and can't wait for the next movie, I just root for team Jacob.

The whole point of this little essay was to promote "Vampire Awarness". Hug a Vamp, he might be having a bad day/night? Just.....WATCH YOUR NECK!!

I want to thank everyone who entered my blog contest namely, Shannon Cress, Mary Macko, Denise Csokuly, Margie Russo, Josh Stewart (and Josh, I will be using your idea for another blog!), Nancy, Ball, Nicole Garofolo, Suzanne Whitney, Sherry Springer Mitchell, Teresa Lantz-Thomas, Kyra Robinson, Shannon Burge, Danny Shore, Colleen Kudis, David Stiffler, Uncle Danny (Sammy) in England, who told me a truly chilling ghost story and last but not least Stacy Bell.

So, inconclusion, wait, I hear a noise...I'll go out and check to see what it is....as spoken by every first dead guy in every horror movie. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! xoxxoxo Pam...Mrs. Barnabas Collins.

"Let's Roll"......Todd Beamer Flight 93

Hello Friends.

Boy, has the direction of my blog changed over the time I worked on it. It was one of those rare blogs that I needed to research for facts, names and figures. By the time I did that I had a very cold and clinical view of what was a day that changed America for the generation we live in. Did I want it to be just facts? Was it going to be cold? yes. I decided that the facts and figures are for the history books to teach our children, grandchildren and generations to come. My blog is about people, it's about people we lost, people who survived and perhaps a small view of how I felt that day and feel now. I wanted to put faces to this event so it just isn't about planes that crashed, buildings that fell and a "numbers" of people who died. Those people were not just numbers. They were living, breathing human beings that loved, lived and unfortunately in many cases didn't walk away from this cowardly act of murder.

Our journey starts on a beautiful September morning. The date September 11, 2001. It was a truly beautiful day and I remember going into work early, around 6 a.m.because I had an appointment with a doctor and needed to leave the office around 8:45 to make the appointment at 9:30. As I walked out of the building I got a call from my friend Sherry Springer and she was telling me that a plane hit the World Trade Center. We kept talking as I walked over to my car parked in Pittsburgh at Kaufmann's parking garage. During a drive that should have taken 20 minutes that time of day but took over an hour Sherry and the radio kept me in the loop of what was happening. I couldn't believe my ears. Sherry kept telling me the building was swaying and I remember responding, well those tall building are made to do that, just like our US Steel building here in Pittsburgh does. I know I just kept driving, but I was seeing car's pulling over and people sitting on the side of the Parkway and you could see their faces just sitting there blank, crying or looks of disbelief. I was scared I just wanted to drive. I was actually afraid to stop. We then heard the 2nd plane had hit. We knew this was no accident. I had to go through the Squirrel Hill tunnels and my thought was this could be happening all over the country and I wanted out of the tunnel. I was getting closer to my appointment and I have no idea why I felt I had to go but I did (of all places it was the gynecologist!). I started calling my family, I couldn't get Mom and Dad, I spoke to my sisters, Ruth and Donna. In the mean time talking to Sherry on and off. More and more news coming in. I called my friend Jim Glenn to make sure he was OK, I was worried about everyone being as scared as I was. I called my friend Geoff in Syracuse NY and got his machine and left a message saying I hope he was OK. I also called Danny in England to tell him to turn on the TV as he worked all night and I didn't think he wanted to sleep through this. It would be another 14 hours until we spoke again. I got to the doctor,we watched on TV what was happening. Then, as I was leaving the doctors office phone rang and the receptionist said, it's for you! Well...I was surprised. It was my supervisor Karen calling to tell me not to come back into Pittsburgh as they were evacuating, they found the doctors number in my Rolodex cause they couldn't get through to my cell phone.. I told her I wasn't planning on it and headed home as I wanted to get to my Mum and Dad. So, as every American did that day, we sat, watched and prayed as the four planes hit, two in New York City, one at the Pentagon in Washington DC and one in all places a field in Shanksville Pa, which is about 2 1/2 hours from Pittsburgh. That plane had been in our airspace! The President had ordered all planes down but still everyone wasn't accounted for. Mum, Dad and I watched in horror as buildings fell, as things came fluttering out of window, which I asked my Dad, what is that Daddy, is it paper flying. He gently explained to me no honey, those were people falling from the building. I think I screamed then. and turned to my Dad as said are we going to be OK and Daddy said to me "Pammy I don't know". This my story, which is not dramatic it's just the point of view of an average American Citizen.

Here is what we slowly learned in the next few days
19 militants associated with Islamic extremist group Al Qaeda hijacked 4 airliners an carried out suicide targets against target's in the U.S.A. 3000 people were murdered that day including more than 400 police officer, firefighters and EMTS. These are just the cold hard facts. I could go into time lines, but again that is for the history books. I now want to talk about several people that were either murdered that day and some who survived. Let's meet some of these people.

In the World Trade Center Tower 1, was a man named Shannon Lewis Adams, age 25. He came from a small town called Star Lake NY, population 860. He was so proud of working in the World Trade Center that on his business care he gave his address as Tower 1,101st Floor, World Trade Center. He was a fixed-income accountant for Cantor Fitzgerald. Not bad for a kid from a high school class of 34 kids! His father described him as "going 100 miles and hour all the time". He was so loved that at his memorial service, his friends gathered for an Irish Wake. They all filled up the motels in 15 mile radius! This was a man who had great things ahead of him for sure.

One of the 92 people on American Airlines Flight 11that crashed into the North tower was a lady named Lisa Fenn Gordenstein. She was a merchandise manage of TJX, She was 41 years old (my age at the time). The CEO of her company, Ted English said about Lisa "Lisa had a heart as big as the ocean. She was the person to whom other associates went for help and she was always available for her co-workers. She was a great businesswoman and a wonderfully creative merchant. Most of all, Lisa loved being a Mom" She left behind her husband David, two daughters, Samantha and Carly, her Mom, Stepfather,grandmother and Sister. Lisa was not just a number to her family, she was theirs and now she was gone.

On United Flight 175 was a family, perhaps not a traditional family but a family none the less who all died together. They were Ronald & Daniel Branthorst-Gamboa and their 3 year old son David. They were visiting friends in Boston and returning to Los Angeles. Daniel ,41, was an accountant for PriceWaterhouseCoopers in Los Angeles and Ronald, 33 was the manager of a a Gap store in Santa Monica. David,3, was named for Daniel's brother, was adopted in 1998. David was described "as the spirit of Ron and the intellectual curiosity of Daniel". Ronald and Daniel were a couple for 13 years.They were proud adoptive family and planned to adopt another child. Again,not just a number but a loving, thriving family.

Flight 77 American Airlines slammed into the west side of the Pentagon killing 125 military and civilians. One gentleman was Charles E. Sabin age 54. He served in Viet Nam, leaving with the rank of Captain. He worked at the Pentagon for years as a civilian. His family could not reveal what his job was. His brother stated "It's still hard to realize he's really gone. He was a good neighbor, a great leader and most of all he loved his country." Also taken that day with Mr. Sabin was a lady by the name of Angelene C. Carter. She was a civilian accountant who worked in the Pentagon. She was described as a devoted wife and mother and active member of her church. She is buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Angelene is special to me. I didn't know her, but I wear a memory bracelet with her name on it. Every year for the past 9 years Dan and I have honored her memory in several different ways. One is that we give a patriot pin to at least 50 of our friends and family with a picture of her and her story. Mr. Sabin and Mrs. Carter just went to work that day as they did any other day, but did not have the choice to go home..

Now flight United Flight 93 California bound was a story that we all know well. There was Captain Jason Dahl at the controls. he began his flight training at the age of 13! We know many of the other names of people by heart as they were able to communicate with family, officials and loved ones because they were aware of what was happening through out the country. The plane crashed into a field in Shanksville PA killing 45 people, but not before people like Todd Beamer, Mark Bingham and Jeremy Glick took matters into their own hands and tried to regain control of the plane. They revolted using weapons such a boiling water and their own hands. It is believed that his plane was headed for The White House and these brave people gave their lives in an effort to stop what was happening. Also on that flight was a young man by the name of Bernard Curtis Brown II. He was 11 years old and was on a trip to California sponsored by the National Geographic Society. His Mom described him as someone who woke with unusual energy. One of his hero's was Michael Jordan. Such different people all placed together for whatever reason on the same flight.

We must also remember all the Firefighters, Police and EMTS that were ;lost that day. As we would be running away from the carnage these brave people would be running towards it not knowing if they were coming out. That takes an amazingly brave person to do this.

Now we do have two stories of survival. One from shear will and the other who was lucky enough to be on floor 55 of 1 World Trade Center, which was below where the plane hit. It still didn't mean she had any guarantee of coming out alive. The lady on the 55th floor is from a company in Murrysville PA called Mine Safety Appliances. Her name is Judy Colfer and she is from Greensburg PA. She is a devoted mother and was a devoted wife to her husband Gene who passed away in 2004 of Cancer. She recalls on the 35th floor a New York City lieutenant came running up the stairs, he grabbed her and asked what floor she'd come from, trying to determine how far the fire has spread. he told her "You'll make it out" Mrs. Colfer said he had piercing blue eyes and she didn't think he made it out. The fireman told them when they got out to run , run for your life. The building collapsed an a female voice said "reach out your hand" and wrapped it around hers. The smoke was so thick the woman could just her her screaming but couldn't see her. A cab driver picked them up and they fled but not before they picked up a young man named Mark. Mrs. Colfer spend two days at Mark's apartment in New Jersey until some MSA colleges came for in a car and drove her home. She still hears from Mark sometimes, but he's moved South as he couldn't bear staying in the City. Mrs. Colfer has never been back to New York City. Dan and I had the honor of hearing her speak on the 1 year anniversary at Hillcrest United Presbyterian Church. There we all sat for 2 1/2 hours listening to this tiny little woman's story of survival. It was one of the most moving experience's of my life.

Our last story of survival is one of a lady by the name of Lauren Manning. Now she maybe a name familiar to some of you as her husband wrote a book that consisted of the email he sent to friends and family keeping them posted on her condition entitled Love, Greg and Lauren and was published in 2002. Mrs. Manning at the time was a Sr. Vice President and partner at Cantor Fitzgerald. This investment bank took up several floors of the World Trade Center and lost 658 employees. Mrs. Manning had just entered the building when the plane hit the north tower. A wave of burning jet fuel exploded from one of the elevator shafts engulfing her in flames.. She ran onto the street and a bystander extinguished her. She was loaded into one of the first Ambulances to arrive and taken to New York Presbyterian Hospital burn unit. She was burned over 82.5% of her body and they didn't expect her to make it through the first 24 hours. She was one of the 17 victims treated there. She was there for 3 months followed by 3 months at a rehab center. She says it was the thought of her son that kept her going. As she was burning he was her thought that she had to live for him! She has had many surgeries and through shear will lived. What she experienced is unimaginable, but then, most of what happened that day is.

I've now introduced you to some of the brave souls from that horrible day. God took some home, others he left here as they have a job to do and I feel that job is to be a physical reminder of what happened that day. As Todd Beamer said on flight 93 "let's roll" that is what the survivors did...they rolled on with life. His message was advise as well as a command. For those who did not go home that day perhaps this little missive will help put them in someones memory and on September 11th you might say a prayer for them. They are with God, but they have left family, friends and many loved ones that need those prayers.I am so thankful I got to go home that day to my family. Now I look back 10 years later and at times it seems like a bad dream, but it's not. The images we all saw can never be unseen or undone so let us never forget and teach our future generations about the American people from that day and their bravery in the face of death.


With respect, sadness and American pride I write this. God Bless America.


Pam

Some of my sources were: Wikipedia, The Boston Globe, The New York Times and the Chicago Tribune.

"Singing in the bathtub...." As sung by Tweety Bird

Hiya Doc, as Bugs Bunny would say! What's new in your world. The same old same old in mine except my dangerous little mind has been working overtime and that means's it's typing time!!!! Today's subject is Cartoon's and Children's shows. First off I must say that I learned one of my favorite songs from watching Cartoons, as sung by Tweety Bird "singing in the bathtub, Happy once again, watchin all my troubles go swimming down the drain (or dwain!). ahhh life should be that easy...but then it was a simpler time when we washed that man right outa our hair! The social reference to clean and getting rid of problems I love! Also, I used to sing that song to my niece, Dana when she took a bath. I often wonder if she remembers that?? Pam you may ask (or may not) what brought us to this crazy train of thoughts. Well what got me there was watching TV on Saturday and Sunday morning. I found it to be how you say...as Pepe Le Pew would ask....doo doo! I used to live for cartoon's and children's programing on Saturdays. The TV belonged to the children on that morning. Now you of the younger generation may argue and say well you watched crap in your day. Yes, there was crap and will always be crap but I think personally we had far better programming. It wasnt' going to change the world but it sure entertained and has held up the test of time as we are still all watching Tweety Bird (my personal favorite) Bugs Bunny, Wylie Coyote and Fred Flintstone. Did you know....Tweety Bird is a boy??? There is often great debate about that because of the eyelashes and coy attitude but according to Warner Brothers, he is a boy. Originally Tweety Bird aka Tweety Pie was created in 1942 he was pink not yellow. It seems the censors had an issue with that because people might thing he was naked! Well WTF....he's a bird....he was naked and Donald Duck didn't wear pants. The censors did have a bit too much time on their hands as it seems they still do because Bert and Ernie have been deemed Gay. Again, like the no pants and naked thing...do ya think we go around wondering if Bert is sleeping with Ernie...I think not!!! Looney Toones covered social issues as well. Now here's your fun fact...did ya know that The Flintstones were a homage to The Honeymooners? But I must continue. These cartoons were written for children and adults. I remember seeing Bugs running around doing impressions of Hitler and Winston Churchill. Often times the movie stars of the day were featured in a Warner Brothers cartoon, stars like Clark Gable. We also had programming that featured live actors like The Bugaloo's created by Sid and Marty Kroft the genius's behind H.R. Puffinstuff (anybody know what the H.R. stands for??) in 1970.they were teenagers with British accents dressed up like bugs who sang and thwarted evil in the Tranquility Forest. Phil Collins even auditioned for it. They were supposed to be the British answer to The Monkey''s who were the prefab group molded after The Beatles! Whew....confused yet? Then there was The Kids from C.A.P.E.R. that only ran for a small time in 1976 but I found it to be exhilarating TV, OK, that goes a bit far, but it was fun. It was produced by the one and only Don Kirschner (music mogul) and was about Teen Crime Fighters who sang. Everybody sang, we learned that from Tweety Bird! England had and still has Blue Peter, which has been on since 1958, The presenter (as the English call it) or host welcomes everyone a the bottom of the gang plank aboard The Royal Iris. You could earn Blue Peter Badges, such as Silver for people already with the Blue Peter Badge, Green for conservation and Gold for exceptional achievement, which I understand is VERY hard to get! Now day's we have Sponge-Bob Square Pants, Phineas and Ferb and Auqa Teen, Hunger Force. Ok, Phineas and Ferb might be amusing sometimes, but Sponge-bob just pisses me off. He's aggrivating! I bet even children think so! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not dissin all present day children's TV, I love using words like dissin, I feel so street and with it!!!! A Disney production of Handy Manny is teaching us all Spanish, including me who dropped the course in the 7th grade. Wilmer Valderrama, Fez of That's 70's show does Manny's voice and is teaching me to say hello, hola, which is more than Mrs.Cunningham did in 7th grade Spanish. Also the program is cool because Los Lobos does the theme song. I like Dora the Explorer for some of the same reasons. We travel around and learn Spanish. I swear between Manny and Dora I'm gonna learn to say more than hello! I miss Saturday and Sunday morning TV. We haven't even touched the afternoon movies on Saturday, I learned to love Tarzan and Hercules! Well, I appreciate you reading my little rant from my scary little mind that should have more on it than cartoons, but doesn't! I do have one thing that may or may not make you go hmmmmmm. Does anyone remember Kimba The White Lion. It was a Japanese cartoon from the 60's and was a very early example of anime, which I dispise now. Well, when I first saw The Lion King from Disney I coulda swore they stole the idea from the creators of Kimba. Ahh well, maybe it's just me and I know you shouldn't mess with The Mouse! So for now friends in the infamous words of Porky Pig...that's all folks (I can't even type his wonderful stutter)! Have a great Sunday and hope that maybe there is an old Tarzan movie on this afternoon...that or Charlie Chan! xoxox Pammy

"Be Thankful for What you've got" Written by William DeVaughn

Shalama Lillah (Aramaic for hello) my dear 6 1/2. Hope you have all surived the heat well. I think when we were children we never noticed the heat or the cold, as you get older in my opinion it's all we think about! So my subject today will be "cool", well at least I think so! So first I want to say I don't mean for my ramblings to sound preachy, cause that's not the spirit they are written in, it's just my cluttered little mind trying to make sense of life and whatnot, but as Molly Ringwald said in Sixteen Candles "Life is not whatnot!". Sometimes I have to write it down cause all those thoughts make my head hurt, I try not to think too much cause it does make my head hurt sorta like when my hair get's too long. Ok, secondly let me explain my blog title. As you know I like to use a song title as my blog name. Todays offering is a 1972 soul song written by William DeVaughn. Let me give you the first paragraph of that song: " Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac
Gangsta whitewalls, TV antennas in the back
You may not have a car at all
But remember brothers and sisters
You can still stand tall
Just be thankful for what you got.
Diamond in the back, sunroof top
Diggin' the scene with a gangsta lean".
Jeez, I like thoes lyric, I feel so "street"! The point that I'm trying to make is everyday I am trying to be thankful for what I've got. Compared to some people I am a rich rich woman, emotionally and in material things. Just like everyone these days life has not been easy the last few years and it's taken a toll on me and in my opinion my Sainted Danny. Everynight we have a roof over our heads, a fridge full of food and we have the love and support of so many people. Yes, we have our road blocks, but that is how I'm trying to look at them. They are just little blocks in the road. I think I pray more than I ever did in my life. God and I have a few talks every day, even though I think I do alot of the talking. In God's own way he answers me. It might be through a kiss from my doggies, a smile from my Danny or a thank you for something small I might have done. I'm not always a terribly religious person, but I do belive in God, Heaven and Hell. I'm trying to stay out of the later, Hell that is! I try not to dwell on it, but I try to live a good,clean life. I don't always succed but at least I try. Here is our fun fact for the day did ya know that the Bible is still the best selling book in the world??? I know James Patterson probably thought he was, but God's got him beat! Now belive me when I say my blog in no way is trying to be sarcastic or sacrilegious. Just the opposite. I mean it with the utmost respect for relgion. God all and all is good to me. He's gotten me through some rough spots. Maybe I can see that more now because some of the confusion that has been my life is clearing a bit. I often feel bad for Danny and apologize to him because I am not the woman that he married 9 years ago. Some of the changes are for the good, some probably not so good. I had to finally grow up. Now doesn't that sound crazy from a woman who is 52 years old! I never realized how much my Father protected me from so many things. Danny has had the thankless job of helping me finish grow up. I like to think I'm a better person for it even if I'm neurotic,depressed at times and just a general pain in the ass. I thank him for that and I'm a work in progress so it can only get better, God willing! Often I'm sick of myself. Life has been a drama and I hate drama! I swear the next 9 years are going to be Zen, at least that's my goal! They say God only gives you as much as you can deal with, well I'm not that sure about that because I didn't and still don't have alot of the tools I need to cope, but I'm learning! When you stop learning you've given up or died in my opinion. I'm not ready to do either. I have too many books I want to still read, I need to find out how "Supernatural" ends and if Stephanie Plum ever marries Joe Morelli or Ranger. Keeps me going and and of course my sainted Danny who right now will not agree with my characterzion of him in that light. Lord knows I've tested that man's patience. Married couples it seems test each others patience constantly. As much as we have in common there are still differences that glare and make life a challenge to be a sound happy unit. I guess that's why the vow's are "for better and for worse" cause you get to see it all. I'm a pisces some traits of are: a pisces are on the surface it may appear that Pisceans are too slow and too dreamy but in fact, they are distinguished for their great perceptivity and ability to accommodate themselves to various situations and people. We are also not natural leaders. I find this all to be true of myself and at times if makes life hard. Danny on the other hand is a Sagittarius, Sagittarius are
People born between November 22 - December 21 are born within the sun sign. Some of the traits of a Sagitarian are: Optimistic and freedom-loving
Jovial and good-humored
Honest and straight forward. Well this is pretty spot on for Danny and I. I'm a glass half empty girl and he's a glass half full guy. I'm trying to learn the glass half full philosophy and I will get it. In the mean time say a prayer for Danny having to deal with me and at times me him. Now here is something to make you go hmmmmm. Jesus was not born in December. Jesus was more than likely born between Feb. 16 and March 11th. That would make him an quarius, The Water Bearer, which works for me because of the whole water into wine thing. More than likely Jesus spoke Aramaic, but knew Hebrew and possibly Greek. I only speak English, pig latin and Pittsburghese. Now in my thinking about God and Jesus I have come up with a great title for a country song. The title is "Jesus was an Aquarius". I'm not being rude about Jesus. I want the song to be sung by either Loretta Lynn or Garth Brooks. Now I would prefer Elivs, but that's not gonna so much work. No one belts out a relgious song like a country music star. So I think the whole point of my ramblings today is to respect each others difference personality,religous and any other way. Avrio (Adio) Greek for goodbye...xoxox Pammy

"Our house in the middle of the street" Maddness 1982

Hola me amigo's and amigas!Hope you all had a safe and happy 4th of July. Mine was very quiet, which was great. Dan and I cooked ribs and chicken wings on the grill and that was the extend of our excitement which works for me. For some reason right after the 4th I got a bug up my butt about cleanng. Now not that I don't clean, I do the regular stuff like scrub floors,dust,run the sweeper all that kind of stuff. My bug instructed me to throw things away, throw things away I did! Now you have to remember I live in the house that my parents lived in and my grandparents lived in and on top of it all I have stuff from my other grandparents. So out came my shredder, which by the way Gracie and Lacie hate! I found that I had every canceled check my mother ever got back from the bank. I had every bank statment for myself going 15 years back. Shred, Shred,Shred! I felt like Oliver North and Fawn Hall and kept looking over my shoulder to make sure the government was not going to come and take me. While I was at it I removed several tags from pillows and comforters. I don't know how many agencies might come after me now! I found many wonderful memories as well, my Mother"s baby book with a lock of her hair and in my Grandma Bessie's handwriting of every gift recieved when Lois was new and who gave it. I found my Great Grandpa George's Autograph book from the 1800's. I found in it where my Gread Grandma Lizzie had put a lovely like note to him. It was so touching. I think my mother was a hoarder.Here is your fun fact, the deffintion of a "Hoarder" is : Pathological or compulsive hoarding is a specific type of behavior characterized by: •acquiring and failing to throw out a large number of items that would appear to have little or no value to others (e.g., papers, notes, flyers, newspapers, clothes). Yup, that was Lo!
It's been three years since she passed on, but sometimes it's hard to go through somethings because it's so personal. My Mom's stuff was personal, and crazy at the same time. The woman saved every death notice of everyone she ever knew! Maybe that's where my unnatural like of cemetarys comes from. She had pictures of people who I will never know who they are. I think she took other people's pictures in to give them a good home. I also have some amazing old pictures of family members from th 1800's, I'm one to speak, once I had a friend give me a box of books cause she knew I would give them a good home! Yup, I one of those crazies that things objects have feeling's! I found some amazing things I've kept. I have a Time magazine from 9/11, a People magazine from when George Harrison died (I'm still looking for my John Lennon People magazine from when he died and I know I have it, I know I just put it someplace for safe keeping!) I also have a Newspaper from the day the last Harry Potter came out! I found beautiful things like a envelope with dried rose petals from the first bouquet of roses that Dan gave me. I have every card we ever sent to each other and every email we ever sent to one and other. I have the last card my Mom ever sent me and one that I found that she had bought for me but didn't have a chance to send. I have post cards from all over the place. I have pictures from Germany from my Dad when he was stationed there and pictures of General Patton as my Uncle Tate marched with him. Don't know why we have them, but we do. Really, I think people just drop stuff off at our house so they don't have to throw stuff away. Anyone who knew my Mom knew of her love of yard sales. I have stuff no one else in their right mind would want. Sandy, if you are reading this, I think we lost in the flood the lovely piece of pottery from Slippery Rock that used to sit next to the door that we lovingly refered to as "the urnial" that I think Mom bought at a yard sale for a quarter, correct me if i'm wrong. When my 90 year old neighbor Mrs. Tepke, god rest her soul, was downsizing she used to bring stuff to Mum to look through. It was like a traveling yard sale! I'm throwing away dead neighbors trash! The last straw came one Saturday afternoon Mrs. Tepke stopped with a box for Mum to go through. Now, mostly Dan and I would have to haul this stuff to the Goodwill. Well, my Father and I snapped. There was a coffee pot that Mom decided to keep. We have three coffee pots at home and several in Slippery Rock. Daddy and I freaked and Dan just looked on like Damn, I gotta haul another box to Goodwill. Jim said this is it and so did I. I told Lois I totally expected one day to come home from work and find Ted, Mrs. Tepke's 90 some year old husband sitting on my couch because Mrs. Tepke put him in a box by accident. We suggested that she donate the damn coffee pot to Goodwill and she was very offended. I said I knew it was going to go to someone woman in Appalachia was going to need the coffee pot and then corrected myself and said, no she probably has a husband and daughter sitting on their couch and saying "why did you bring home a coffee pot, we don't have electricty"! Needless to say I have greatly downsized. I have so much trash and shredding that I know Dan's going to be embarresed on trash day to put it all out in front of our house. I know sometimes he sneak"s around the neighborhood and leaves a bag here and there from our house so people don't think we are hoarders. Suprisingly we have a very neat house, Lois just stuffed things into nooks and cranny's that people never looked!I kept wonderful things and memories aa I'm not heartless, but some of those death notices had to go! So, I know i'm not a Hoarder, but no way will I ever part with my email's, cards and dried rose petals. So my little thing to make you go mmmmmm is, throw some of this shit away before you die. Women, makes sure those old vibrators go into a dumpster unless you want to scar someone for life (not that I found anything like that) and men, throw away the bottle of Viagra. Otherwise some poor soul is going to end up in therapy for a very long time! So I just felt the need to share my purging (as that's what it feels like) with all of you. Take care and throw some trash away. xoxoxxo Pammy

It's a Grand Old Flag and an amazing Ole Nell (I'm allowed to call her that!).

Happy Fourth of July all! Oh I have so many thoughts rattling around my croweded head and I'm just dying to share them with you (even if you don't want to hear them!!). So as usual I ask for your patience as my thoughts maybe all over the place! My blog today is one of those one's that hopefully makes you go hmmmm and is full of some fun and interesting facts. First off,let's take a moment to thank all of our servicemen and women,past,present and future. Protecting our freedom and often giving their lives to help our country retain ours and others win theirs. Just like Fireman and Policeman as we are running out of the burning building they are running in not knowing if they are come out. What an amazing and selfless calling and where would we be without them? I wanted to talk a bit about our American Flag, the ultimate symbol of our freedom and unity. What a beautiful flag it is. On my first trip to the Smithsonian I felt the need every hour on the hour no matter where I was or what I was doing to make my way to Old Glory and put my hand over my heart and sing the Star Spangled Banner, which by the way makes me cry, but of course dear readers we know allot of things make me cry. I cry at sporting events when we all sing together the Star Spangled Banner. I look crazy at night time baseball games with my sunglasses on so no one can see, which I know they all can anyway. I cry from pride and for all the people who gave their lives for our flag and the American way of life. Every day in my dining room I look at the folded flag that is in a display box that covered my Daddy's casket and was presented to my Mom when he died. That day their were two female representatives from the Army to conduct the flag ceremony and something amazed me. The one female military officer cried when she gave the flag to my Mom. That touched me so much I felt as if she was not only crying for our loss but out of respect for another soldier.I don't cry when I look at that one, I just feel pride that my Dad helped our country. So, with that said, let me give you a few facts about our flag. Did you know...that is is acceptable to wash and dry clean a flag when it becomes soiled? One misconception is that if the flag touches the ground it must be destroyed, that is not correct. It may then also washed and dry cleaned. The Flag should be when flow over a street should be flown suspened vertically and should be flown North on East and West streets and to the East on North and South streets. When displayed from a building or widow sill it should be flown at the peak of the staff unless it's being flow at half staff. Only the President and State Governors can order a flag to be flown at half staff. When a flag has been damaged or no longer serviceable it must be disposed of in a respectful manor, which according to google and other sources is burning. I personally would take it to my local VFW and ask them to dispose of it. Now you may wonder what besides celebrating our independence prompted this little flag lesson..well let me tell you about someone very special to me. I want to tell you about a wonderful lady I have the pleasure of knowing. Her name is Nell. Now Nell, I'm going to tell your age even though it's not polite to give or ask a ladies age. I am giving yours because it helps with the frame of reference of all the history and changes you have seen in your lifetime. I must say first off I know of Nell's love for the American Flag. If I do my math correctly, Nell was born about 1919, (God hope's I can add and subtract as I was a banker! Isn't that Ironic Allanis?? Bad musical reference from the 90's.). When my Mom passed away, and this must sound like a really stupid little thing I gave Nell's daughter Judy the collection Mom had of American Flag and Patriot pins for Nell to have. I gave them to her because I knew she would treat them with respect and they would have a good home. Yes dear reader, I'm one of those weirdo's who think that objects have feelings. Anywhoo, back to Nell, I am in awe of all the things Nell has experienced. In 1919 life expectancy for a male was 48.4 years. In 2011 life expectancy is 78.7. An average yearly salary in 1900's around 1910-1010 was $750.00. In 2011 salaries vary from job to job. The top median salary for 35% of the population is $65,000. In the 1900's The National Debt was 1.15 Billion dollars. In 2011 it is 14 Trillion!!! Imagine seeing that change!! In the 1900's they still lynched people and in 1919 there was 76 lynchings. This statistic was not available for 2011 and I pray it doesn't still happen but I'm sure in some obscure corner of the US it does happen. Divorce statistic were 1/1000. In 2011 divorce happend to 10.3 per 1000 people (the .3 always confuses me, are they only .3 divorced??) Woodrow Wilson was President from 1919-1921. Today, in 2011 we have our first black President, Barrack Obama. Nell has lived through 28 Presidents and one assination. Prohabition started in 1919 and in 2011 we all have the right to drink ourselves silly. Nell has lived through 7 wars, well some people may argue 7 and say it was 6 because Korea was a "police action"...isn't that how Viet Nam started as well? There were 48 states in 1919 with Arizona being the 48th. We did not add two other states, Alaska and Hawaii until 1959. Now I did not write this to point out how old dear Nell. She just has seen so much history and experienced so much life under the saftey of our American Flag. Nell is a wonderful and amazing woman. Nell and her husband raised 5 children. Jim, Jack, Jerry, Judy and Jane I hope I remembered you all. She was a working woman not only at home but out in the world. My husband and I had the pleasure of having Nell at our wedding in 2002. We were honored that Nell had a special toast for us and a little song to share. It of course was a bawdy song about Cocaine Sue (I think that was her name). I would not have wanted her to sing anything else! So Nell, I wrote this for you even though these are all probably things you know, but I wanted to share your life and experiences with everyone else. I know I didn't even touch the surface I hope you don't mind. I have have written this with love and respect and to talk about, on this our independence holiday weekend about someone who truly loves our flag and what it stands for. When I look at a flag I honestly do think of you. I may not say it or see you often enough but I always think of you as my "Grandma" of my heart. So this weekend, put your hand over your heart, recite The Pledge of Allegiance and think about our service peope, our forefathers and one special lady who loves and respects the American Flag. I'd like to leave you with this little quote.."Some people call me an idealist, well that's the way I know I am an American" Unknow. Have a safe, happy 4th of July. Respectfully Pammy xoxoxxo

"Love is a many splendored thing..." song lyrics by Sammy Fain & Paul Francis Webster

Waz up mah bitches (i'm feeling a little "street" today and always wanted to say that anyway!!!!! LOVE...what a strong and powerful word. My muddled,complex and strange mind has been thinking about love allot, but then who doesn't whether or not we want to admit it. It really is the cornerstone of what keeps us and the universe going in my humble opinion. Now as we know, I don't really think in terms that are cohesive, but I had an experience the other morning that really stopped me and made me think about all different kinds of love and even hate for that matter. Do you know they say you can't truly hate someone unless you have loved them. It show's the power of this emotion. So..what happened was...Danny and I often sleep to TV or our IPOD in a docking station. It helps me sleep. Well, the other night my little IPOD shuffle was not charged enough so we used Danny's big fancy schmancy IPOD to listen to. Now my play list is a scary place to be because one moment you might be listening to Duran Duran and next moment here comes Perry Como and Sarah Vaughan. I pick and chose what tracks I want to listen to! Dan's IPOD is a bit more complex. He has complete albums (see how old I am...I call them albums!) Anyway, we both listen to all kinds of things. I have some rap on mine, Dan has more of it than I do. Dan loves song lyrics and the depth and emotion they show as do I. Anyhoo, I woke up about 5:30 am as Danny got out of bed. I found myself waking up to a song by Eminem aka Marshall Mathers. It is called "So Long" and it depicts the violent death of his now ex-wife, Kim at his hands (and ya wonder why they are divorced???). Now Kim actually sued Marshall over this song and I understand why. I found the lyrics so disturbing I was afraid to get out of bed or move let alone even give you a sample of them here.I figure if you want you can google them for those who don't know it. I believe in the eyes of the law the words would be considered "making terroristic threats" which covers many types of things, it doesn't just mean you are going to blow up a building or set a bomb off in a public place. I did look it up and she sued him for defimation of character. This is not a new song it was released in 2000 and I was more than aware of it's existance. I have always chosen not to listen to it. I feel you are the one who has the ultimate censorship control, not the goverment. Belive me, Tipper Gore really pissed me off in the 80's when she tried to get the government to put warning labels on albums. I felt she was stepping on peoples first amendment rights. So did Dee Snider from Twisted Sister and even white bread country boy John Denver, both who testifed before congress on behalf of freedom of speech and expression as did many other artist. In the late 90's I went as far as to defend Marilyn Manson with his violent and misogynistic images and lyrics. I called him "Alice Cooper light" He was still trying on his sister's training bra's when Alice was helping to invent the genre! Now why in my old soul could I not relate this type of expression to Eminem's violent and disturbing lyrics? I don't know, I do just know I felt violated by listening to them. I felt like I needed a shower! Now when my sainted Danny came back to bed we had a discussion about this song. Daniel in no way shape or form supports violence or the abuse of anyone, but I must say, just as I might have done sometime ago defended Marshall's right and motivation for writing this song. It really does relate back to the thin line between love and hate. I understand what he was saying and his point but here I am thinking hmmmm (this is our hmmm moment my dear 6 1/2) why do I suddenly understand Tipper Gore's feelings. It doesn't mean I support her or her actions which I still find confusing as an American. I believe in the First Amendment and the power and freedom it gives us, a freedom that not everyone in this crazy world is allowed to have. Lord know's I listened to every kind of music there was as a child. David Bowie, Kiss, Alice Cooper. They never left me feeling violated. Yes, they said dirty dirty things and had nasty imagaery, but damn it they said it so pretty sometimes. Not that it made it right, it was just sugar coated. Kiss sang songs like Plaster Caster, and Meet Meet ya in the Ladies Room. Now they were not making plaster casts of their hands and they didn't have to pee really bad so they used the ladies room! Alice was busy cutting his head off and Ozzy was biting bat's (which was actually a bird). Yup, twisted, perhaps wrong but their right to depict. I gues what i'm saying is I want my ugly stuff sugar coated!!! I also like my history clean, no one smelled or wore rags! I know that all these things exsists, but I need it put in a context that won't freak me out! I also know because of the First Amendment (and thank God for it) this will not happen. It just show's me the ultimate control I personally have over censorship. You censor yourself in my opinion. You can't take it, turn it off. So Marshall, I hated your song, not that you give a rat's ass and I will never listen to it again. I do listen to your other stuff and enjoy it. This was just such a powerful experience for me that I felt the need to share it, perhaps to much to some peoples dismay, but then again...click off it if you don't like it. Enforce your right to censor. This blog started off in a very different direction. I intended to write about the media and how they depict all types of love. Love of family, of country. Love between a child and parent and a man and a woman but here I ended up talking about Eminem, Alice Cooper, John Denver (who probably never thought he'd be mention in the same sentence as some of these artist) and freedom of speech. I still feel it comes back to love...it's complex and powerful and often takes us to places we never thought or intended to go. We do things for love that are amazing and sometimes scary. I guess that was what I learned from Eminem's song. I can't relate to that kind of anger, but he had to say what he said for himself, and his ex had to do what she did. As the Beatles put it "All you need is love". Yes, you do, but it encompasses so many things. I also heard something that made me laugh but actually is really twisted and it came from all things the program "Hot in Cleveland" the one character said if you love something let it go, but she prefered to lock them up in a basement and feed him through a slot until he saw things her way!!! Now that's some scary shit given through what would be considers a fairly benign medium...and just as bad as Eminem's little ditty!. Let me leave you with this fun little fact did ya know tha Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't. So guys take heed, even if you are not in the mood smooch her up!! So, bud's Peace out...keep and open mind and excersice your control. Only you can prevent forest fires (woods of wisdom from Smokey the Bear)! xoxxo Pammy

"The Song Remains the Same"........Thank you Led Zepplin!

Bonjour my peeps! Hope life is treating all of you well and fair...??? My postings have been far between as I've just been mulling life over and the smoke that was coming out of my ears left me slightly blind and asthmatic. You know I must share this little thought with you, I thought that life would be a piece of cake after High School. No more oral reports or bullies to deal with. Boy was I wrong! No matter what your situation is, life is hard. Of course life did not come with any guarantee of being simple and problem free. I think even though it's hard that must be what keeps us all going and makes it interesting. How else would people write all those wonderful books if not from amazing life experiences, good and bad. Often though, I do wonder what drives Stephen King to write his stories, but then that's a whole other story! Oral reports still come in various shapes and forms, be it bitchin out the Electric Company or giving a loved one a piece of your mind, or what passes for your mind somedays. The thing is, we don't take the time to write it down like we did in school! Perhaps we should write things down before we discuss them. No matter how well thought out your words are you can't always convey them in the manner your would like. We all become a bit tounge tied, nod to Noreen who actually explained to me what that medical term means! I think before discussing things with anyone I'm going to start writing lists that way I can say things as I would really like to without being taken the wrong way. Just imagine going to the Grocery Store and at the check out pulling out not your grocery list, but que cards on how to conduct a decent conversation. It would slow us all down and stop us from rash words. Of course. the grocery store clerk would be thinking why me lord???? I always get the nutcases. I think I'd rather be a kind nutcase than a rude customer. When I worked and was in customer service I found that the anonimity of the phone allowed people to say horrible things to me that perhaps they would not say to my face. I've been called everything from a Bitch to a "5 dollar an hour girl"! Believe me, I didn't get out of bed for $5 dollars and hour! As for bullies, they are ever present no matter how old you are. I had a friend say something to me yesterday that made a big impact on me. She told me that bullies are actually very unhappy people. Now I have to admit I never thought of it that way. I always thought that a bully was just someone who was happy go lucky and really didn't care what they said or did to people because in their little happy world their actions and words didn't matter because they were so superior to the rest of us. I guess I was wrong and that was the thing that made me go hmmmmmmm. It's always good no matter how old you are to go hmmmmm especially about things that you have old pre-concieved notions about. Hard as it maybe to believe my dear reader, it took me 52 years to come to that realization. Even in our everyday life we look for the weakest of the heard. Doesn't matter how nice you are it seems to me everyone is looking for someone to feel superior to. My goal from here forward is to think before I speak and always to remember that God did make us all equal. I want to be a more kind, caring, understanding person. I want to always keep in mind that it's not all about me (even though in a perfect world it would be all about me!). That's a hard think to accept, that fact that the sun and moon doesn't shine outa my butt. I realize I have been working on this for a very long time and now in my latter years I am truly trying to put it to work. I am a work in progress and as a poster said so aptly in the 70's "God doesn't make junk" with a picture of a little forlorn person below the caption. Well....I'm not junk. I've made good choices and bad choices, but all my choices have made me who I am. Sometimes our choices can be hard to live with and eat us up inside. Do you know I still feel guilty for something I did in 6th Grade??? warped, right? I'll tell you what it is and I've only ever told one other person this and that was my dear Evelyn and it was just the other day. When I was in 6th grade right after the Memorial Day weekend a classmate was killed in a car accident. Well in the dark ages when I grew up they didn't have things like grief counslers who came to your school to explain things to you. Here we are, all 12 and under in age and the teachers have quite uncermoinously tell us a classmate had not only died but died in a horrible car accident. Not sparing the details that it was a disfiguring ugly accident and that this child was probably better off dead. Well, imagine the impact not only on the sensitive but the bullies. So, here's where my guilt comes in. There was a cemetary right across from the little school I went to, it's where my grandparents are buried and where they were going to lay this poor little child to rest. Well, mild mannered, mousey little ole me led a group of students off of school grounds over to the cemetary to pay our respects to our classmate. Imagine the termoil we caused and came back to. Teachers screaming, most of the group crying, not because we were in trouble, but because it was such a life altering experience. They told us they were going to call our parents and that severe action would be taken and it would be on "gasp" our permanent record!!! Now, we were only a few days from the last day of school and it was the 6th graders last year at this school. Do you know to this day, I'm still afraid someone is going to call my Mom and tell here what I did, but I do doubt it will have the same impact as she's dead too and I'm 52 (couldn't help the little rime)! Also, your permanent record is a myth unless you were a nut job in school. So I guess we all do have permanent records as I don't know many sane people. So back to choices. What I've learned is good, bad or indiferent we learn to live with our choices. Some are harder than others and life is a trade off when it comes to choices. Guilt does nothing but kill you. You have to move forward. Now here is how the title of my blog ties in "The Song Remains the Same" is a song by the English group Led Zepplin. It is the opening track to their 1973 album Houses of the Holy. What I am taking from that is the song is the same as it was as child as is it now. We just have bigger problems and issues to deal with and they effect many more people. Deal with them as we will. With Grace and dignity and with know that our choices are not always right but they are the choices we made and we need to make the best of them. I will continue in my quest to be a good person. Somedays I fail. Somedays we all fail. But then there are the days were all the planet's align and God smiles on us and you realize life is good...such a simple thing,life if good. Well dahlings, i'm sure I have bored you all enough with my ramblings and I thank you for reading this and give you much credit it you made the whole way through it. Have a wonderful day, also whenever I go to the cemetary I leave a flower on the grave of my fallen classmate. Do that perhaps someday for someone you don't know. I will do your heart good. xoxoxox to all of you!!! Your Servant....Pammy