For my little round Mama in heaven

Dear 3 1/2..It's been a few days since I've checked in, but haven't felt like writing, nor have I had anything interesting to say.  I now have something so say, and it's more for me than for anyone else.  I am appalled and horrified by the blog written for Marie Claire magazine that bashes the TV program "Mike and Molly" because the two characters are heavier people.  I am fucking sick to death of the term morbidly obese..If your Doctor uses this term to you that's fine, but for society to throw it around like it's a term like happy or sad is pissin me off.  This "so called journalist" stated she was "sickened by watching" two fat people on TV.  If you watch the program it's about two people dealing with the stuff that any two people who first start dating deal with.  This "journalist" has since apologized stating it has to do with her own hang ups with anorexia.  Well...God bless her (the fucking bigot that she is..) How would she have felt at the time of her "dealing" with her  anorexia if someone had put a TV show on and the character was that was anorexic and then had people say it sickened them?  We see anorexics on talk shows and programs like The Today show and people are sympathetic.  I have no problem with the program and it's not because I am a fattie.  I have lost 116 pounds and work every day to keep it off.  I am now a size 14-16 but I still don't view myself as "regular" because of what society drills into us.  Even when I was as size 28 and I have never ever admitted to anyone that this was the size I was, I still was told I was beautiful and felt loved by people who mattered.  There were plenty of people that wanted to spend time with me, that were attracted to me.  I am not bragging but I did just fine.  Yes, there were people who did not accept me, that made horrible remarks and tried to make me feel bad about myself. At times they won and I did let it get to me.  I chose not to let them destroy me.  I'm not saying it's hasn't taken it's toll.  I still have no body image, I still dress like a fat girl at times and have trouble showing the shape that I have not that it is that amazing, but it's not all that bad for a 51 year old broad! I chose to lose weight not for society but for myself.  To be a healthier human being and to make sure I was going to be here for a long time with my amazing husband.  This is just another form of bullying and the message that it sends to young people.  That they are not good enough.  People kill themselves over remarks like this.  Yes, we do have a problem here in the USA with people being overweight, yes we need to be healthier and to learn better eating habits, but one thing I want to say is people do not chose to be overweight just as a person dealing with a eating disorder that takes them to the other extreme.  Yes there are people who just don't care about themselves and have lost all hope, but most of us do care!   What does this say about society??? How irresponsible of Marie Claire to have allowed this hurtful thing to be so meanly put out there.  I am a strong proponent of freedom of speech and freedom of expression and this "journalist" or whatever she is, and had every right to express here opinion just as I have the right to mine, but she and the Magazine needed to remember and think that words hurt, words kill and words can never be taken back. Have they not be paying attention to the news lately???  Sorry means jackshit.  So basically, this is a big screw you to anyone who has ever taken a potshot at anyone who is different.  Let me bend over so anyone who doesn't like it can bite my big fat ass.  I will never be a "skinny" girl or a size 6 nor was that my goal.  But I am proud of who I am and what I have a accomplished fat or skinny.  My random though for today is as Depeche Mode so aptly put it in the 80's "People are people so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully?" ....I love skinny people, fat people, gay people, straight people, green people, black people, white people, disabled people, unattractive people and beautiful people and yes people with eating disorders.  I don't care what you are just that you are good people. So rock on to the station that put this program on the air, just because you are showing diversity of life.  The next time you see a person who is different don't look at them as different, just as a person and think of perhaps some of your own short comings as we all have them. Whew...I had a lot to say and I thank anyone who read this.  I'm stepping off my soap box now and one thing I will apologize for is the angry tone I have used.  I have stooped to the level of the bigot who wrote the acid blog.  So now, let me end with a fun fact, because yes I do have one...Did you know that Marilyn Monroe was a size 16??? People wanted and adored her and has gone down in the world of pop icon's as one of the sexiest most desirable women.  One last thought before I go (and I shut up as many people probably wish I would) but did ya ever think about how a word looks and sounds funny the more you use it??? My word is "People"....looks funny, sounds funny but that cause I've used it over and over again today.  Love you all 3 1/2 and anyone who reads this.  Please feel free to share it with other people, not that I'm that eloquent but just so people think.  Shalom!  Pammy.